ALBUM REVIEW: John Lennon & Yoko Ono - Unfinished Music No. 1: Two Virgins

    John Lennon first met artist Yoko Ono on 7 November 1966 at the Indica Gallery in London when previewing the Unfinished Paintings exhibit by an "obscure Japanese artist". Lennon greatly enjoyed the exhibit, including the Ceiling Painting/Yes Painting and the Hammer a Nail exhibits, and the two eventually began a correspondence that would blossom into a relationship, all while John was still married to his first wife Cynthia. Of course, it's not my place to comment on the personal lives of assassinated celebrities (although I certainly could), but all you need to really know is that this album was recorded while Cynthia was away on holiday in Greece, leaving because she felt disconnected from her husband. John, in turn, invited Yoko over for some bizarre recording sessions, and the final result was the first of an unholy trinity that still stands as some of the most confusing and truly awful records I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. While Unfinished Music No. 1: Two Virgins is probably more infamous for its front cover (which, without the plastic bag, is a nude John and Yoko), let it be known that the music within holds its own truly special kind of infamy.

    Some may even debate calling this an album with music on it - some may call it an avant-garde art piece, sound collage, or maybe even just a bunch of bullshit. Any and all of these are brilliantly apt descriptions of the material on this album, but you may notice that one of these descriptors are close to the phrase "fun". If you're looking for a rough sound reference for this album in case you're just... SO eager to dive into it your name is Michael Phelps, let's divert to The Beatles for a little bit, and to the topic of their oh-so beloved creation that is "Revolution 9". Now, while a review of The Beatles is supposed to be next time, it is common knowledge that "Revolution 9" is one of the most infamous and, by some measure, one of the most maligned Beatles tunes there is, even though the song does have its ride-or-die defenders (some I have even interacted with; more power to the lot of ya, but I think I'm missing it). Why do I mention this? Because, while I don't necessarily think "Revolution 9" is as horrible as its reputation has made it seem (is it really worse than "Little Child"? "You Like Me Too Much"? "Bad Boy"?), I do find the idea of more of it to be a pretty dreadful concept, let alone an entire half-hour record of the damn-thing. Can you guess what's on here?

    Yep! Two Virgins is made up of what I can only lovingly describe as "Revolution 29", as that is the entirety of the album - more sound collage bits with that musique concrete influence and field recordings and other artsy-fartsy terms that neither you or me give that much of a shit about. Is it poorly done? Well that's up for people who listen to this stuff more to really determine, but I suppose it's assembled okay. It's out there and certainly pushing the barrier - there's even some comedy at points in the recordings and these are probably the best moments? If this was an unhinged comedy-style recording this would actually be pretty alright I think, but as it stands it's just a little repetitive after the 20 minute mark. Is it painful? Ditto. Is it necessarily worse than something like "Revolution 9"? Maybe not in contents, but after the 20-minute mark the ulcer in my stomach was saying otherwise.

    Final question: is this where new John Lennon fans should start? Positively no. While John Lennon is an incredibly talented musician in many ways, and Yoko herself is a capable artist (who probably gets far too much hate in comparison to what she's actually done), Two Virgins is a really odd release that's just too disposable and overblown. Granted, this is still somehow the best of this avant-garde trilogy, but more on that in the future. Completionists only, although this is the part where I give the album it's best compliment - it would be fucking hilarious to own a physical copy, right?

RATING: ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Listen to Unfinished Music No. 1: Two Virgins.