ALBUM REVIEW: Paul Simon - Songs From the Capeman

    Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but it seems like Paul Simon typically had a habit of taking long breaks between some studio projects - five years between Still Crazy and One Trick Pony, another three between that and Hearts and Bones, yet another three between that and Graceland, and then another four between that and The Rhythm of the Saints. I mention this because I like to think those long periods of inactivity are responsible for the quality of the craft on each of those albums. Songs From the Capeman came out seven years after the brilliant Rhythm of the Saints, and was Paul Simon's ambitious attempt at a Broadway play of the same name - an album retelling the story of Salvador Agron, a teenage boy who killed two young teenagers in 1959. Musically influenced by doo-wop, gospel, and latin music throughout, perhaps Simon's step towards the stage worked... but perhaps not. Not only was The Capeman an $11 million flop, but Songs From the Capeman is easily the worst thing I've heard from Simon by some distance. A mismatch of genres, completely embarrassing lyrical moments, and easily some of Paul Simon's absolute worst songs he's ever put to record. From a lesser artist, I truly do believe it's the kind of thing that could kill a career.

    So, where do I begin with this? There is so much wrong with this album that dissecting what is actually wrong becomes similar to counting rings on a tree. Paul Simon has done concept albums before (see Bookends), and he's even written music specifically for soundtracks or existing projects - both "Punky's Dilemma" and "Overs" were initially written for The Graduate. It could be that, in my opinion, the concept is bad on paper - writing an entire musical around the life of a killer is far more interesting in terms of a stage play, but it, and I cannot emphasize this enough, does not translate well into album format. What also doesn't translate well is the myriad of genre influences that Simon grabs at, which don't blend together nearly as well as on Graceland or Rhythm of the Saints - Simon doing latin music, for the record, could've been a good time on it's own, but mixing it with doo-wop is just bizarre. Even on some of the better moments like the semi-sweet love song "Bernadette," the influences feel misplaced. Also, some of the transitions are flat-out jarring - going from the painful "Quality" (don't worry, we'll come back to there) to the beautiful fully acoustic number "Can I Forgive Him" will give you whiplash. The result is truly throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks, and it makes listening disjointed.

    This is all small potatoes to the album's worst sin - being cringe. Paul Simon, for whatever reason that I couldn't discern in any given amount of time, has chosen to sing in character for a good amount of this album, and the results are by a large margin the most uncomfortable moments in his catalog. You would think that my biggest complaint being "he swears" is picky, but I actually think it's a big problem with this album - listening to Paul say "fuck" and "shit" on the album is like hearing your grandma say those things. Paul is so pure, and now he's using words I've never heard in the Bible. It doesn't come across as bold, edgy, or even faux-edgy - it's just jarring. Even worse is on moments like "Adios Hermanos" or "Satin Summer Nights" where we get to hear Paul Simon drop full-on racial slurs. You thought hearing him say "fuck" was bad? Try hearing Paul drop the N word. Outside of those horribly uncomfortable moments that made me put my head in my hands due to physical discomfort, it should be worth mentioning that the lyrics themselves aren't even good. "Quality" may very well be some of the worst lyrics he's ever written - "The way you move girl, it's got quality." Wow. "The Vampires" takes the cake though, as it has what is easily the worst chorus in Paul Simon's career - "If you've got the balls then come on, mette mano!" What few decent lyrical moments there are like on "Trailway Blues" or "Born in Puerto Rico" are completely undercut by the fact that this is worse than second-rate material - I cannot fathom why he thought any of this was a good idea.

    Songs From the Capeman is truly baffling on every conceivable front, and it is rightfully so a flop - to date it is Simon's lowest charting album. While I love Paul Simon's music deeply, I'm not so blind to love that I can't see Capeman as a monumental disaster, even more-so than some of those theatrical Kinks albums I've been reviewing recently - at least those weren't uncomfortable. I like to think that, when I talk about Paul Simon's music, it comes from a place of love and admiration for the man and his music. Tough love, Paul; Songs From the Capeman blows.

RATING: ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Listen to Songs From the Capeman.